1
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:05,170
[MAKING INDISTINCT SOUNDS]
2
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,409
AND LIKE THE ALIEN SAID,
3
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,611
GO TO THE BLOTCH.
THE BLOTCH KNOWS.
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,313
SO, I, LIKE,
LOVE MY HUSBAND
5
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,915
AND CAME OUT HERE TO COMMUNE
WITH THE BLOTCH.
6
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:19,317
All chanting:
THE BLOTCH KNOWS.
7
00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:22,354
THE BLOTCH KNOWS.
8
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:25,323
WHAT EXACTLY DOES
THE BLOTCH KNOW?
9
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:26,925
UM...THE FUTURE?
10
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:28,060
I DON'T KNOW--[COUGH]--
11
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,862
IT'S REALLY HARD
TO MAKE OUT, YOU KNOW.
12
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,898
[BLOTCH SCREAMS]
13
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,769
HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES.
14
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,405
[BLOTCH SCREAMING]
15
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,610
HEY, GOT BAD NEWS.
YOU'RE FIRED!
16
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,545
HA HA HA HA!
17
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:47,846
GOTCHA. HA HA.
18
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,347
NO, YOU'RE NOT FIRED.
19
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,183
BUT YOU WILL BE,
UNLESS YOU LIVEN UP
THE SHOW.
20
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,220
SUBMISSIONS FOR
NEXT WEEK'S SHOW.
21
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,955
THERE HAS TO BE
SOMETHING GOOD HERE.
22
00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:00,191
AN UNUSUALLY
FAT BABY. NO.
23
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,895
ANGRY MUTANT
BEEF JERKY. NO!
24
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,797
OH, IT'S HOPELESS!
25
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,867
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS
THAT STUFF THAT CRAZY
DIB KID KEEPS SENDING IN.
26
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,941
NO. NO! NOT AFTER
WHAT HAPPENED
THAT LAST TIME.
27
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:22,781
PIGFOOT!
28
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:26,518
OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
29
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,128
[SIGHS]
30
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,818
IT'S GOT TO BE BETTER
THAN PIGFOOT.
31
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,662
GET THE VAN.
I THINK WE'VE GOT SOMETHING.
32
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,903
NOW, HARDER HITTING,
FASTER PACED,
33
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,073
AND EVEN MORE MYSTERIOUS.
34
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,509
ARE WE ALONE
IN THE UNIVERSE?
35
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,077
TONIGHT, WE'LL SHOW YOU
SOME INTRIGUING VIDEO
36
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,980
THAT MAY JUST ANSWER
THAT VEXING QUESTION.
37
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,286
[MAKING SOUNDS]
38
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,787
YOU'RE MY WITNESS!
39
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,522
HE IS AN ALIEN.
40
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,558
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
41
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:44,396
THANKS TO A HORRIBLY
LARGE-HEADED BOY NAMED DIB,
42
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,297
WE HAVE A NEW PIECE
IN THE PUZZLE THAT IS
43
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,800
THE SEARCH FOR ALIEN LIFE.
44
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,836
I SET OUT TO INVESTIGATE.
45
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:55,340
KIDS PLAY WITHOUT FEAR
46
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:56,909
IN THE STREETS
OF THIS HUMBLE HAMLET.
47
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,743
IN FACT,
IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE
48
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:02,247
WHERE YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO LOCK THE DOOR.
49
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,082
WHO ARE YOU?
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
50
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,851
OH, WOW!
51
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,085
YOU'RE HERE!
52
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:08,987
I KNEW ONE DAY
YOU'D COME.
53
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,188
I KNEW IT.
54
00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:14,158
YOUNG DIB HAS BEEN
CHRONICLING THE PARANORMAL
55
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,693
NEARLY ALL OF HIS
BRIEF LIFE.
56
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,833
SO WHEN A GREEN KID
CLAIMING TO BE A HUMAN BOY
WITH A SKIN CONDITION
57
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,435
ENTERED HIS CLASSROOM,
58
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,438
HE SAYS HE WAS PREPARED.
59
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,841
LOOK,
HE'S SO...GREEN.
60
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:33,512
HELP US CLEAR UP
WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.
61
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,314
I WAS MONITORING SOME OF
THE HIGHER FREQUENCY RADIO WAVES
62
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,950
WHEN I PICKED UP ON
AN ALIEN DISTRESS SIGNAL.
63
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:42,521
SO I WENT OUT WITH GAZ...
SHE'S KIND OF MY SIDEKICK.
64
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:45,323
Actor Dib with lower voice:
WE ARE CLOSE NOW.
65
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,992
I FEEL IT IN MY BRAIN.
66
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,197
Actress Gaz:
OOH, GOLLY!
67
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:53,999
WHAT IS THAT?!
68
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,266
STAY BACK, GAZ.
69
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,672
LOOK, GAZ,
YOU ARE MY WITNESS.
70
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:01,940
HE IS AN ALIEN!
71
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,941
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
72
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,710
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
73
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,659
EEEEE! OOOOHHHH!
AAAHHH!
74
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,662
HE TRIED TO WRESTLE
THE VIDEO AWAY FROM ME,
75
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,097
BUT I WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
76
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,034
DIB, THE GLOW!
77
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,715
Anchor: ALIENS.
THAT'S QUITE A CLAIM.
78
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,618
ARE YOU PREPARED
TO DEFEND IT?
79
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,087
I THINK MY VIDEO
SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.
80
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:53,792
THIS...YOUNG MAN
DENIES YOUR ACCUSATION.
81
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,126
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!
82
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,795
HE'S THE ALIEN!
83
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,897
I CAME TO PUT A STOP
TO ALL YOUR ALIEN TALK.
84
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,300
WHEN WILL THE LIES END?
85
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,636
WELL, ZIM,
I GUESS MY FIRST
QUESTION IS...
86
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:08,340
ARE YOU AN ALIEN?!
87
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:12,810
LIES! THE FILTHY
EARTHBOY LIES!
88
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,179
I MEAN...NO.
89
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:17,282
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE VIDEO?
90
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,919
Zim:
I WAS OUT PLAYING,
LIKE ANY NORMAL EARTH LARVAE,
91
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,654
WHEN HE CAME
LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
92
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:28,426
HEY, NEW KID,
GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH
MONIES.
93
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,795
BUT I NEED THESE MONIES
TO BUY NUTRIENTS.
94
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,798
GIMME THE MONIES
OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE
95
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,599
YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
96
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,635
LEAVE ME ALONE.
I JUST WANT TO PLAY.
97
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,571
FINE.
98
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,140
LOOK, GAZ,
YOU ARE MY WITNESS.
99
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,308
HE IS AN ALIEN.
100
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:44,609
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
101
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,611
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
102
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:58,022
BOO HOO HOO HOO.
103
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,024
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
104
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,225
HE LIES!
105
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,292
CALM DOWN, YOU TWO.
106
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,927
YOU'LL NEVER
GET AWAY WITH THIS!
107
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,929
SILENCE,
YOU TINY BRAIN...
108
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:05,997
HEAD!
109
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:06,898
WHAT ABOUT
THAT GLOWING THING?
110
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,200
LOOK AT IT.
THAT'S NO HUMAN GLOW.
111
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,169
WE ASKED AN EXPERT.
112
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,904
POSSIBLY A WEATHER BALLOON.
113
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,372
OR SWAMP GAS.
114
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,809
SWAMP GAS?
115
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:18,810
HE'S CRAZY.
116
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,178
ASK ANYONE
IN OUR CLASS.
117
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,080
DIB? YEAH...
118
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,416
HE'S PRETTY CRAZY.
119
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:29,120
HE TOLD ME MY DADDY
WAS A YETI.
120
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,756
MY DADDY'S NOT A YETI!
121
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,726
HE'S NOT A YETI! WA HA!
122
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,027
WHAT'S UP
WITH HIS HEAD?
123
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:39,530
WELL, DIB,
I GUESS THE QUESTION
FOR YOU IS...
124
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:40,999
ARE YOU CRAZY?
125
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,800
OF COURSE
THEY SAY I'M CRAZY.
126
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,269
THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS
SAY ABOUT VISIONARIES.
127
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,104
WHAT'S HE DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
128
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:48,707
CALLING YOUR
SPACE FRIENDS?
129
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:52,110
NONSENSE.
IT'S MY MEDICATION.
130
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,146
[PAINFULLY
SWALLOWING]
131
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:58,583
COME ON, BOYS.
THIS IS NATIONAL TV.
132
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:01,620
SOME PEOPLE'S JOBS
ARE ON THE LINE.
133
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:02,887
THIS IS INSANE.
134
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,222
YOU'VE GOT TO
TALK TO MY SISTER.
135
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,523
SHE SAW THE WHOLE THING.
136
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,860
Anchor: ZIM, TORMENTED CHILD
WITH A SKIN CONDITION
137
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,495
OR SCALY DEMON
FROM THE STARS?
138
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,464
DIB, MISUNDERSTOOD
VISIONARY
139
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,266
OR RAVING LUNATIC?
140
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,935
PERHAPS ONLY THIS
LITTLE GIRL KNOWS.
141
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:18,936
EXCUSE ME.
142
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,272
GO AWAY!
143
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:21,906
[Anchor spitting out dirt]
144
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:25,477
I WANTED TO ASK YOU
A FEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.
145
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,711
MAYBE YOU CAN
SET US STRAIGHT
146
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,779
ON THE WHOLE
CRAZINESS ISSUE.
147
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:29,947
UGHH! UGHH!
148
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,417
GAZ, AFTER
WHAT YOU SAW,
149
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,418
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT
YOUR BROTHER GOT PROOF
150
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,221
OF INTELLIGENT
EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE?
151
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,923
INTELLIGENT--NO.
152
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,859
MY STUPID BROTHER
DID DRAG ME OUT
153
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,060
TO LOOK FOR
STUPID ZIM.
154
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,996
HE DIDN'T MAKE
THAT PART UP.
155
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,171
DUH...!
156
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,440
DUH...!
157
00:07:55,509 --> 00:08:01,112
Both:
DUH...SHINY.
158
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,247
HA HA HA HA.
159
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,182
[MORE EXCITEDLY]
DUH?
160
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,552
AHEM.
LOOK, GAZ,
YOU'RE MY WITNESS.
161
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:08,686
HE IS AN ALIEN.
162
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:09,821
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
163
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:12,823
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
164
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,625
DUH...?
165
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,763
HUH? OH.
166
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,464
IT LOOKS LIKE
WE'LL NEVER KNOW
167
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,099
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
THAT NIGHT.
168
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,701
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR WATCHING
169
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:27,439
WHAT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY
BE THE FINAL EPISODE
170
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,074
OF MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES.
171
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,208
[WHISPERING]
172
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,147
UH, IT SEEMS WE HAVE
A SURPRISE WITNESS
173
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,083
WHO WAS THERE AND CLAIMS
TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
174
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,553
Dib:
BUT HE WORKS
FOR THE ALIEN!
175
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,254
RESTRAIN HIM!
176
00:08:44,323 --> 00:08:46,624
[GIR SCREECHES
IN GREETING]
177
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,627
NOW, WHAT CAN
YOU TELL US ABOUT DIB?
178
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,730
DIB'S ALL MEAN
TO MY MASTER.
179
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,298
HE NOT NICE
TO ZIM.
180
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,599
I SEEN IT.
181
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,267
DIB IS BAD. HEE!
182
00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:00,738
AND ABOUT
THE NIGHT IN QUESTION?
183
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,177
Gir:
I WAS A CHUBBY LADY
HIDING IN THE BUSHES.
184
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,612
UH-HUH.
AND WHAT ABOUT DIB?
185
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,080
I'M ON TV!
186
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:12,583
YES.
THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
187
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,819
THAT'S WHEN THE GIANT
SQUIRREL SHOWED UP.
188
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,986
Zim: GIR!
189
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:19,823
LET HER TALK.
CAN'T YOU SEE
SHE'S UPSET?
190
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:23,861
NOW, DON'T YOU MEAN
DIB SHOWED UP?
191
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,197
NO. THE SQUIRREL
SHOWED UP FIRST,
192
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,466
THEN DIB SHOWED UP.
193
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,338
AH! OH, MAN!
194
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,106
WHAT IS THAT THING?!
195
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,077
AND THEN THE SQUIRREL
ATE DIB'S GREASY HEAD.
196
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,812
AHHH!
197
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:49,119
AND THEN THE SQUIRREL
FLEW AWAY!
198
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,495
AFTER THAT, HE WENT BACK
TO HIS HOME PLANET
199
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,764
TO FIGHT ALL OF
THE BAD GUYS.
200
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,203
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE
TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
201
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,073
ME AND THE SQUIRREL
ARE FRIENDS.
202
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,984
[THINKING OUT LOUD]
I'M SO FIRED.
203
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,086
WELL, THE ONLY
CONCLUSION I CAN COME TO
204
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,056
IS THAT DIB IS CRAZY!
205
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,258
THIS ONE HERE,
DEFINITELY CRAZY.
206
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,993
I FEEL BAD FOR
THE UGLY GREEN KID,
207
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,896
BUT THERE'S A DECENT CHANCE
HE'S CRAZY, TOO.
208
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,598
BUT NOT AN ALIEN?
209
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:34,599
NOPE.
210
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,534
JUST CRAZY.
OKAY.
211
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,203
YEEE!
212
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,941
NOTHING MATTERS
ANYMORE.
213
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,743
MAYBE I'M CRAZY!
214
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,813
WHOOOO! AHA!
215
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:49,781
CRAZY!
216
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,118
[MAKING GURGLING SOUNDS]
CRAZY!
217
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,722
WE'RE SO CANCELED.
218
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,957
I THINK THIS IS
THE BEST WORK YOU'VE DONE!
219
00:11:00,025 --> 00:11:01,659
CRAZY GETS GOOD RATINGS!
220
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,595
GIMME MORE LIKE IT!